Should've been born Irken: 1

Warning: There will be weirdness, crack, and yaoi. Oc's will be inserted as needed but NONE will be Mary-Sue-ish. On with the story.


"My Tallest...there's an alien child, with a big head on the communication's screen!" Yelled one of the smaller Irkens who manned the control room of the Massive. Red's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Really?" He thought for a moment about just ignoring the call but things were slow and he was bored. Bad things happened when Red was bored. "Alright. I'll talk to the child." He walked over to the screen and looked at the human. "What is it you want, you short ugly thing?" He asked, mind wandering to where his lover was. Where was Purple?
Dib was sitting in his room in front of all of his computers and various things he'd stolen from Zim's base. He was hacking the alien's computer at the moment to get this video feed through. "I'm not ugly...and I'm taller than Zim!" Dib grumbled and looked away self-consciously before glaring. "I want to know more about your kind." In the middle of Dib talking, Purple walked up to the monitor, "His head is huge Red." The Tallest pointed. "I don't think that's normal." He leaned on Red lazily from boredom.
Red wrapped his arm, casually, around his co-tallest. "Yes." His eyes narrowed on the human smeet. "You are taller than Zim, but isn't that hard to do." Red grinned down at Pur, happy he was there.
Dib crossed his arms in what could only be considered a pout, though he would have denied it. "This isn't the point. I want information on Zim so I can stop him from taking over my planet. He can't have it." Purple didn't reciprocate. He didn't like being watched and the alien was creepy looking.
"Be silent you ugly human." Red commanded. He WAS quite bored, and this child was obviously an enemy of Zim. Red looked over the boy, gauging him as no threat. He could be entertaining. "Alright, human child. Ask your questions." He said, hand lightly stroking Pur's left antennae.
Dib's eyes widened. He really hadn't thought it would be this easy. Either they were as stupid as Zim or didn't consider him a threat, the latter made him scowl. "Weaknesses, body make up, weapons, what that 'pak' thing is, anything you're willing to say actually." Purple leaned more heavily on Red and clinked a finger on Red's armor in time with the strokes.
Red grinned at the child, so naive. "Alright. Weaknesses..."He tapped his chin. "The antennae. Just stroke one the right way and..." he stroked Pur's appendage in just the spot he knew he liked, to show the human what could be done to any self respecting Irken.
Purple's eyes slid closed as he purred happily before realizing what was happening. He swatted at Red's hand childishly with a whine. "Don't use me as an example...!" Dib tilted his head. "What are they for?"
Red smirked and kissed Pur's hand in apology, before looking back at Dib. "Sensing. We can hear with them, smell, feel and even see if absolutely necessary."
Purple still didn't seem happy but accepted it for the moment. Dib had a keyboard in his lap and was typing the information into another computer. "What about the 'Pak'?"
Red didn't want Purple mad at him, so he whispered a small apology into his antennae. " A Pak...is like a life source. Get rid of that and the Irken has 10 minutes to live. It is our personality, our occupation, thoughts, memories...it controls your body functions and warns you of danger. It is the ultimate weakness."
Purple waved him off. "I'm getting snacks." He walked off screen. Dib continued typing as he listened attentatively. "I think you made him mad. And it's not that I don't appreciate the free information but you do realize I'm trying to destroy Zim and you're kind, right?"
Red sighed, watching Purple walk away. He shrugged, knowing he never could stay mad at him for long. At the child's words Red laughed. "Oh. I wish you luck on destroying Zim. We've been trying for years. There's no getting rid of that annoying, defect. That's why he's there. And you will never get the chance to destroy us, you stupid human. You're too short to do so."
Dib glared. "Height doesn't mean everything. I'm more capable than you think." He paused, going over Red's words in his head. "Wait, defect? What do you mean that's why he's here? I thought he was trying to take over earth to make some stupid parking lot or snack filled planet for you."
"Yeah whatever. Height is the only thing that gets you anywhere." Red sat in his 'throne' wondering if Pur would go to their room to avoid him or come back here. "Yes, a Defect. Zim is one of the worst. And that whole taking over you're stupid little planet was a lie." He sipped at an Irken soda. "Do you really think we would want your puny, pitiful planet for anything other than kindling?"
"On my planet there's plenty of people as tall as you or taller." He leaned back in his chair. Sure Zim was a little off, most noticeable when he screamed in third person, but calling him a defect was pretty harsh. "So what, he was bugging you so you dumped him here? And our planet isn't worthless."
Red sneered, "Bugging us? That's the biggest understatement I've ever heard in my entire long life." He got more comfortable in his throne, trying to calm himself down. "That Defect is a menace to our society. Dangerous and lethal in ways no one should ever be. He's ignorant and arrogant." Red hated that he felt fear around the smaller Irken. But, who could blame him? The idiot was a Tallest Killer. "Besides, he is happy on your stupid planet, thinking he is doing something important and worthwhile. Why do you care...?" He thought for a moment. "What is your name human-smeet?"
"I'm guessing you live a long time?" Dib frowned. He had a good point. Zim's plans always went wrong or exploded and Gir wasn't much help. Gir was probably a defect too, poor thing. When it wasn't annoying him he felt bad for it since Zim was so harsh with him. "Maybe he just needed more training." Dib shrugged, surprised how easily the conversation continued considering what they were to each other. "I wouldn't call it happy. Though I don't think anyone can tell what he's thinking or wants to know." He sighed and straightened a bit in his chair. "I'm Dib. And I'm not a baby."
"Heh. You knew what I said. Impressive. Yes, I live long. I am around 200 in your human years." Red ate a few pretzels and chewed before continuing. "Zim had the same amount of training as all of the other Invaders of his time. We even went to the Academy together. But, you see, DIB," he emphasized the name. "He's always been like this. Even as a smeet."
"I told you I know more than you think. I also know your language and your programming." Dib smiled, quite proud to be able to gloat. "How long do you live then?" He watched the monitor; eyes following Purple go in and out of the screen once in awhile though Red didn't seem to notice. "Then he's unique. Defective seems harsh, even for him." The emphasis annoyed him, Zim did that too. "Do you have a name other than 'Tallest'? Because there's no chance of me calling you that as if you were my leader."
Hmm...The human was interesting indeed. Red decided to test him by talking in Irken for the rest of their conversation. "We can live for a very, very long time. No one knows exactly how long because Irken's either die young in battle or grow old. There are some ancient ones that are over three thousand years in age." He sipped his drink, and sighed missing Purple not that he would ever admit it. "He is NOT unique. He's killed two Tallest, blacked out our entire planet twice, and almost destroyed our race by stealing a Megadoomer without permission during OPID 1 even after he was specifically told to not move from his spot. He is destruction and he loves every minute of it. Everyone hates him for it. They were relived when we sent him on his 'mission'." he moved his two claws in quotation marks "Yes. I have a name. It is Red. But, if you call me just by that I will dismember you. Only Purple calls me by just Red. You may call me SIR, or Tallest Red."
Well that was definitely interesting. No wonder Zim hadn't gotten as tall as the Tallest or changed much since he'd been on Earth. He was a bit slow in responding since he'd never spoken in Irken, even with Zim, but he still said everything correctly. "That's still considered unique. And even though there's a bunch of stuff he did wrong why didn't you just lock him up or put him in a mental ward? Or if you don't have those things that would make sense but a race based on taking over planets and killing should have a prison. Why is Zim here instead of being dead?" Dib got a mental image of Zim running around with a giant weapon and killing the Tallest before being thrown into a cell. It was a good image, too bad he didn't have something to keep Zim locked up with. If he did, it would have been used long ago. "No one likes him at all? You probably don't get too attached to each other though since you're so busy killing off planets." Dib frowned. "That doesn't seem fair. If you can call me Dib, I can call you by your name. And last time I checked you can't dismember me through a screen."
Red sighed, realizing how naive the child was even if he was fluent in Irken which impressed him. "There is no real prison for Defects. All we can do is change their status. He was an Invader but after the whole destroying his race thing, The Control Brain reprogrammed his Pak to be in fast food service. He was banished to Foot Courtia for quite a while...then he escaped." Red glared, gnashing his teeth, remembering that horrible day. "We decided that the easiest and only way of getting rid of him would be to give in and send the annoying pest on a 'secret mission.'" Red thought it was quite interesting how their conversation continued. They each talked about numerous subjects at once. "You aren't royalty. Do you wish me to call you Human Dib, or Alien Dib? Because I will. And..."Red laughed menacingly. "I CAN dismember you through your screen. We have tools made especially for doing so." He sat back and wondered what the human was planning to do about Zim. He seemed semi intelligent even if he was short. The Tallest looked over at the matching purple, velvet throne next to his red one. Red wished that Purple would come back. He missed him. "Are you quite done asking questions or do you still have a million of them?"
That surprised Dib. With a race like there's it seemed obvious that they'd have prisons and torture buildings or something to that effect. It seemed weird that a 'defect' as destructive as Zim was dealt with so gently. Food Courtia rung a bell though. During one of his fights with Zim he had been complaining about a Sizz-Lorr person and being in a fat suit filled with hot oil. The story just had him laughing and making fun of the alien for a few days before it got old and he forgot about it. "He escaped twice actually." Dib smiled for knowing so much. "Maybe your planet needs some defenses. Zim hacks in easily enough. We fought for control of your ship for over an hour." He missed that. It was like a video game but better. "Who cares if I'm royalty? You're still talking to me like an equal so I'd prefer calling you by your name." Dib raised a brow, he was more intrigued than frightened by the statement. "Really?" He watched Red's gaze and laughed lightly. "I have plenty of questions but if you're busy I can call another time. I got a lot to work with already. Zim won't know what hit him."
Red grinded his teeth, having the child state the obvious didn't help. "There were defenses in place. The first was a mishap. The second was because Sizz-Lorr is a moron." Another thing the human said echoed in his head. "Wait... you fought over our ship?!" He laughed. "I was wondering. I remembered Zim's driving as horrible but, I hadn't thought it was that bad. And secondly, you are not an equal. You are merely entertaining." Red waved his hand in the air uncaringly. "Do what you wish. Call or not call. Leave or not leave. It does not matter to me." Even as he spoke with the boy, his mind was on Purple. How infuriating that man was...
"Uh huh. That's just an excuse. And if Sizz-Lorr is a moron you shouldn't have left Zim with him in the first place." Dib put the keyboard down and stretched. "Trust me, it's that bad. He tried to get me off his trail by driving Mars into the Asteroid Belt. I've never been in space but even I know that's stupid. I didn't say equal. But I'm glad to be entertaining." He said sarcastically. "Oh really? If I can do what I wish then I'm calling you Red." Dib grinned. "Oh and it's obvious you're having withdrawal from Purple but he's been walking around behind you the whole time." Purple sighed. "Why did you tell him?"
Red laughed, and stood up floating towards Purple. "I'm sorry, Smeets, for using you as an example. You're just so adorable." He grinned in the way that he knew his co-tallest couldn't resist.
Purple sighed. "You're cheating. Idiot." He pulled on Red's antennae gently. "Two can play at that game Red."
Red groaned and leered at Purple. Then he remembered Dib. "Oh yeah. Call back some other time, human. Good luck with the whole destroying thing." He waved the human off as he couldn't take his eyes off Pur. "Don't call me an idiot, idiot."
"I know you are but that am I?" Purple grinned. Dib sighed, "Alright. Have fun with the....whatever it is you're doing." He cut the video feed.
Red smiled and they continued doing "whatever it was they were doing."
Dib went to Skool and sat in his desk. He ignored Zim and watched the clock, waiting for class to end so he could test what Red had told him.
Zim watched the human suspiciously, wondering what he had up his disgusting sleeve. After all the Dib-Monkey never usually ignored him. He was loud, obnoxious and insane. What was wrong with him? Zim took a piece of paper that was supposed to be his math homework, balled it into a sharp ball of doom and flung it with perfect precision at the big head that belonged to his mortal enemy.
Dib flinched when it hit him. He was paying so much attention to the clock that he hadn't noticed it coming. Picking the paper up he looked at it to notice the math homework and rolled his eyes, Zim was so stupid. He left the paper on his desk and went back to the clock.
Zim glared as the human practically ignored his ball. He growled and balled up a second piece of paper that was his neighbor's math homework and once again shot it at Dib's big, slimy, oily, corn filled head.
Dib sighed. "I'm busy willing the clock to move faster you idiot."
Zim raised an "eyebrow". "Why? What does the clock have that's so interesting?" he stared at it as well but, all he saw was numbers.
Dib resisted the urge to smack his forehead. Stupid alien and his stupidness. "I'm waiting for class to be over."
Zim sighed at Dib and his insanity. "Why, Dib-monkey? Avoiding being beat up by Zita and her gang again?" Zim smirked evilly, trying to get on Dib's nerve.
"Oh you'll see. Or feel." Dib grinned. He was definitely going to have fun with this if Zim's reaction was anything like Purple's.
Zim glared and shifted uneasily. He kicked the human for good measure just as the bell rang signaling the end of the long, horridly boring day. Ms. Bitters said the magic words "go home now," and the children ran screaming in glee out doors, windows, airs vents etc. in a rush to escape. Zim stood dignified and strutted out of the room, ignoring everyone else. Outside he stood on the curb, waiting for stupid cars to pass already.
Dib frowned when he felt the kick. He walked out of the classroom behind the masses. Dib walked up behind Zim and poked his arm. "You don't mind me following you home, right?"
Zim pushed Dib away. "Don't poke me, meat beast." He turned away and started walking across the cross walk. "Don't you follow me home most days anyway, hiding in bushes or behind mail boxes?"
Dib shrugged, in too good of a mood to be annoyed. "I can poke you if I want. And I don't feel like hiding today."
Zim stared suspiciously at the Dib who walked on beside him casually and without fear. Too weird. Zim wanted to punch the human when he began to whistle. Zim sighed and walked faster, hoping he could loose the boy, if he went fast enough.
Dib just smiled and sped up his pace as well. "You know Zim; you can't lose me on foot because my legs are longer." Aka, you're short. When the reached Zim's house Dib walked up to the door behind Zim so the gnomes wouldn't wake up.
"Why are you walking home with me, Dib-Stink?"
"Because I have something I want to show you."
Zim growled and walked up to the front of his home. The lawn gnomes stared with blank eyes as the boys passed. With a flick of his wrist the front door opened.
Dib followed Zim in and watched Gir rolling around on the floor screaming about pigs and tacos, nothing unusual.
Zim strode over casually to the SIR unit, before kicking the robot flying across the room. "Gir! Go...do something important!" he commanded.
Dib frowned. "Stop being so horrible to him. Ever heard of Karma? It's going to come after you one of these days."
"Silence, human! I can do whatever I wish to that horrible robot. It's mine after all. It feels no pain, anyway." He strutted into his living room and into the kitchen's elevator that led to his lab. He stared at Dib. "Are you coming?"
Dib sighed and sent a glance Gir's way. "Just because he doesn't feel pain isn't an excuse to hurt him." He looked up and realized Zim was talking to him. "Yeah, coming." Dib went over to the elevator. "I'm surprised you're inviting me in."
Zim grumbled, "Well, if you're going to show me something might as well get it over with so I can kick you out and continue trying to destroy your planet."
"It's just weird to see you acting civil." Dib shrugged, waiting for the elevator to let them out at the lab.
Zim waited until Dib was inside before shoving him. "There was that civil-less enough for you?" The elevator took them down.
Dib glared and shoved him back. "It was a compliment stupid."
Zim stumbled and hissed. "Don't call me stupid, you MORON!"
Dib grinned. "Should I call you short instead?"
That pissed Zim of even more. "If you do that, I'll call your head big!"
"Poor Zim is mad. Sorry." Dib smiled.
Zim hissed, and kicked Dib just as the doors opened. He stalked out of the confining elevator and into his lab.
Dib growled and walked out of the elevator before tackling Zim to the ground and holding him down.
"Hey! Dib-Monkey, get the hell off me!" he growled, bucking hopelessly. It was painful on the ground, with his Pak shoved against the metal floor.
Dib didn't seem to mind that Zim was in pain, he deserved it for all the times he's put Dib in the hospital. "You wish. I'm not letting you take the Earth."
Zim clawed into the human's back, hoping to bring Dib enough pain as to force the annoying child off of him. "Whatever Dib-Thing. You couldn't stop me even if you had an advantage. Now get off of me and show me what you wanted to show me." He tried once again to shove the taller male off of him.
Dib cringed but didn't make a big reaction like Zim had wanted. They had fought enough times that eventually Dib had gotten a sort of tolerance to mild pain. "I always stop you, or have you forgotten that you still don't have the Earth yet? And I've gotten some information that does give me an advantage." Dib stroked one of Zim's antennae.
Zim went stiff, one eye twitching. His claws tightened for a moment before they let go completely. "D-Dib...s-stop..." He hissed.
Dib grinned. Zim might have been a 'defective' for his race but at least the same weaknesses affected him. "Hmm.. I don't feel like it."
The Irken wanted the human to let go...he needed him to. But, Zim's mind was clouding and he couldn't make his body do what he wanted it to do. How had the boy found out about...this? Zim purred and his red eyes slid close. "Dib...Thing...no...touchy...."
Dib was almost disappointed that this was so easy. Too bad it took him this long to find out about it. "Why not? You seem quite fond of the attention."
Zim growled, a tiny bit of what could be called sanity reaching his brain. He reached up and dug his claws into the human's hand. "Off of Zim, now and I won't completely disembowel you." He threatened.
Dib hadn't been expecting that and clutched onto the antennae as a reflex. "I can't let go with you digging your claws into my hand..." He winced, knowing that was going to leave a mark.
Zim flinched as the idiot clutched too hard at his poor, sensitive antennae. "Fine!" He barked, letting go. "Now get the hell off of me!"
Dib held back a laugh, making mental notes of Zim's reactions for later. He decided he'd found out enough for the day and let go before getting off of the Irken. "Touchy much?" Dib laughed that time even though it was a stupid joke.
The Defect jumped up and held his antennae, brushing them gently. He glared at Dib, eye twitching. "I am not touchy! I hate to touch anyone! I hate touching. Especially HYUMANS who don't have any brains!" He screeched, more than ready to rip the child apart.
Dib pretended to be insulted. "That's so cruel of you to say Zim...I have a brain just like anyone else." He rolled his eyes. "You touch me plenty when your mad, how is that any different?"
"NO! I don't touch you. I wear gloves." Zim said, victoriously, wiggling his black gloved fingers to show them off as proof. "And you don't have a brain. That's just rotten, smelly corn stuff."
"Why is everything corn with you?" Dib pulled Zim's gloves off in a quick motion and smiled. "It's still considered touching. And either way now you'll have to touch me if you want them back."
Zim gasped and looked down at his gloveless hands in shock. Naked, green skin was exposed to the elements. He gnashed his teeth, fists clenching. "Give. Them. Back. To. Ziiiiim!!"
"Nope. They're mine now." Dib laughed. "Oh think of all the germs that are getting on you. I bet they're squirming around." Zim was so much like a child with the way he handled things.
Hyperventilating, he just pictured it. The icky, squirmy bacteria all over his flawless skin. Zim shuddered, and glared at Dib. The human was laughing this up. No longer. "Now." He hissed, activating his Pak legs with the laser canons. "Or I'll shoot right through your pitiful, pale, skinny body like tissue paper."
Dib's eyes widened. He could think his way out of this...right? Usually he was so good under pressure but for some reason his brain just stopped. "Alright, fine. Put those away and come get them."
Zim's eyes narrowed. "Put them on the ground." He hissed, glaring at the human who had hurt him, made him feel like a fool and on top of that had touched his antennae in a way only lovers and close companions should. The Dib-Monkey was neither.
Dib glared. "I'm not stupid. You would shoot me anyway!" He had made that mistake once a long time ago and wasn't planning on doing it again. "It's not like I have any weapons on me anyway. Unlike that stupid thing," he motioned towards Zim's Pak arms, "That should be cheating."
Zim growled. "Fine." He retracted the lasers into his Pak and held his hand out expectantly. "Mine. Gimme." He said, eager to have his gloves back. His hands were already cold and twitchy from exposure.
Dib looked down at Zim's hands. He had a huge urge to touch him but whether it was to piss the Irken off or not he didn't know. "Why do you have gloves on all the time anyway?"
Impatient, he stomped his foot. "Because I want to. GIVE!" He watched the human's oddly...beautiful gold eyes stare down at his hands. The child better not get any ideas.
Too bad for Zim because Dib already had ideas. It wasn't even really because he wanted to know for science, just because he wanted to touch him. Dib frowned at his own train of thought and shook his head to clear it. "That isn't a good reason."
"DIIIIIB!" Zim whined, he already felt the goose bumps breaking out. "Give me my gloves. It's too cold and the GEEEERMS want my flesh."
Dib blinked. Since when did Zim whine instead of yell? "Leather gloves won't make your hands warm." Dib rolled his eyes at the simple logic and grabbed one of Zim's hands without thinking. "Better?"
"N-no!" He stuttered, hands warm. Hands germy. Zim snatched his hand back. "You know what...keep the gloves." He sniffed. "They can go into your shrine of the amazing Zim. I have other gloves." He didn't say that those were his favorite. With built in warmers and grips that kept them from sliding off and easier to work with.
"Why would I have a shrine of your stupidity? Anything I have of yours is broken, just like most of the things you have anyway." Dib threw the gloves on the floor next to Zim. "And germs won't hurt you. There are germs in your body you moron."
Zim lunged for the gloves and picked them up, practically cuddling them. He slid them on and sighed as warmth invaded his hands. "There are no germs in my perfect body. Maybe they live in abundance in yours." he was glad he hit a nerve. "What made you drop the gloves Dibbeh? The shrine comment? Or the fact that I was no longer interested which made them worthless to you?" He grinned, devilishly.
Dib tilted his head slightly, surprised to see Zim happy over something so trivial, more so if the Irken had multiple pairs. "Even aliens have germs. They're everywhere and they're harmless so don't act all high and mighty." He glared. "I dropped them because I don't like stooping down to your level of stupid and watching you look so pathetic over lost gloves isn't worth my time." That was just an excuse, though partially true. He wasn't really sure if Zim's interest in something mattered. They were enemies after all so Dib usually tried to take something he wanted, it made sense after all.
Zim scoffed ignorant of Dib's anger. "You're just jealous because I have the gloves now and you don't." He smirked, teeth like the edges of a zipper. Zim was confident now that he had won the battle and too arrogant. He got up in Dib's foolish face and laughed. "You lie, Dib-Beast. You love watching me squirm and suffer just as much as I like watching you writhe in agony and beg for mercy." Zim ran one claw over the scythe lock that continued to fascinate him. He didn't pay attention to his actions or notice that he was going against everything he had just said about touching a while ago.
"I don't care about your stupid gloves and if I did I wouldn't have given them back." Dib frowned; he'd never been a fan of Zim's teeth. They were too sharp for comfort and were extremely painful when used correctly. "I'm supposed to enjoy that, we're enemies and I'm supposed to, and going to, defeat you." Dib watched Zim's hand get closer and shivered slightly at the touch, stepping back a foot. "You just said you didn't want to touch humans and their corn filled germs." Dib mumbled.
"You won't defeat me, Dib-Thing. I won't let you ever think that." He grew closer, so close they're bodies almost touched. "Does is make you uncomfortable?" he asked, one claws poking the human's odd smelling sensor called a nose. He found it funny that Dib thought he would defeat him. Not now, not in a million years. But, then the human wouldn't live that long.
"I can and I will. Nothing you say will make me change my mind so forget it." Dib kept backing up until he hit one of the walls in the lab. He started cursing mentally since he was usually more aware of his surroundings. "Of course not." Dib glared to try and defend himself but it wasn't as strong as he would have liked it to be. As stupid as Zim was most of the time, when he had mood swings he could be dangerous. And the Irken was too close for comfort at the moment.
Zim laughed, enjoying the sputtering and mumbling of the flustered boy. He also liked how Dib kept backing up, obviously afraid of how close he was. "Dib. Dib. Dib." He muttered. "I don't need to change your mind." He leaned close and whispered into the odd, hearing disk. "I just need to wait out your short life span. I can change you however I want anyway." Zim blew a puff of air on the hearing disk, or an 'ear' curious as to how it would react.
Dib flinched at the closeness. He kept thinking Zim was going to lash out on him like he usually did. That would have been preferred compared to this. It was weird and he couldn't think clearly at all. Dib took a deep breath to try and calm himself, almost jumping at the air against his ear. "I refuse to die before you.." Dib reached over and yanked Zim's antennae. If Zim wanted to play this game then Dib could too. Stupid alien was practically coming on to him but at least Dib knew it wasn't on purpose. That would have made it worse if possible. "And you shouldn't want anything to do with me once I'm dead, unless you'd miss me too much and want to keep a part of me with you always. How sweet."
Zim flinched as once again he felt tight, sweaty human digits on his antennae. He flinched and jerked. "No, bad Dib!" He smacked Dib's hand away, hoping that it kept the human from attacking him anymore. "Don't flatter yourself, human meat beast. I would love to see you dead." He spat, lashing out with words the way they had time and time again. "And I would need nothing to keep as a memory. Fond memories and your stupidity would be more than enough."
Dib frowned and retreated his hand. "You lie. Say what you want but I know for a fact that you would miss me if I was gone. You'd get bored and lazy." Dib pushed Zim away harshly, getting annoyed with the closeness and Zim's harsh words. "You're in denial about everything. Including your mission. If you could even call it that."
Zim hissed, angry at the rough treatment. "I would not miss you. I would take over this planet much, much easier!" He brushed himself off and retreated, wondering what the hell he had been thinking. The Earth air was getting to him. "And what do you mean, monster with hair? My mission is as...missionay as missions get."
"Your mission is a lie. You shouldn't even be here!" Dib sighed. He really didn't want to explain this to the stupid alien. Zim would still be in denial and he'd be confused. Confusion and Zim usually lead to anger which led to Dib being injured. As super fun as that sounded, Dib didn't want to go through with it. "Nevermind. I'm going home. Have fun with your germs." Dib walked to the elevator.
Zim yelled in anger, fists clenched. "Do NOT ignore Zim! You will not walk away from me! Get your Dib-Monkeyness back here and tell me what you mean before I drag you back here!" As if to prove his point, he grabbed Dib by the back of his trench coat and yanked.
Dib was intent on ignoring Zim. He had only gotten a few feet before he felt himself being pulled back. Dib yelped and stumbled backwards. "Don't do that!" He glanced over and glared. "And don't tell me what to do. I'm leaving so get over it."
Zim held on for a few more seconds just to piss Dib off, then shoved him away. "Whatever. The Zim does not care. Get out of my sight." he snapped his fingers. "Computer! Throw the human out the trash shoot!" He smiled evilly and settled back in his chair to watch the show.
Dib growled. "This isn't over." He yanked on Zim's antennae as he walked away for some payback to piss him off. "And by all means I'd love to tell you how much of a failure you are but you're just too stupid to understand it. Maybe I'll talk to Gir about it." Dib grinned. If anything that would definitely get the Irken mad. "See you at school!" Dib ran off to the elevator before the computer could send out a mechanical arm to catch him. He waved bye to Zim as the doors closed.
"GRRRRRGGGGR!" Zim screamed, shaking with rage. The moronic, idiot, pig-monkey...asshole... He would get him back. Revenge would be his; Zim knew for sure and tomorrow would be sweet indeed. He took a deep breathe and smiled widely as he imagined the pain that would soon be Dib's to experience. "Heh..hehe! HA HA HA!" he laughed the sound echoing off the metal walls.